Where Do We Get Off?
Usually at the Fulton Ave station in Brooklyn. So if you think we're not tough enough... Look, we fully expect some hate mail but, for those of you cringing in some shack where you do your own reloading, raise iguanas for the meat, and think anyone whose beard doesn't connect to their 'stache" is a soft-male metrosexual 'bro', you're not paying attention, and you've got more in common with that caricature, than us. For those worried about "toxic masculinity", we're DE-toxifying masculinity. The world is full of genuine, noble, big-hearted men who do their duty when it's hard, slog through work a mad circus elephant couldn't pull down, are devoted to their loved ones, and stand up for anyone weaker whose getting stomped on by someone stronger. And when someone insults a woman, we ask "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Conversations among men are GOING to happen. They'll either be 1) in some fringe of rabid fake masculinity, 2) an equally messed up fringe that thinks masculine virtues are obsolete and we can get our ethos from fads or might as well turn into narcissists who are in everything only for ourselves, or else 3) REAL conversations with some shared sense of who we want to be and who we want in our company. With or without approval, we're aiming for that wide, easy swath in the middle, because we think most of us actually WANT to be there, and there aren't as many assholes as there are Manhearted™ men.
I'm X, Y, or Z-curious. Can I Be Here?
Thank God we got you before you pen that email to ask if you can be a part of what we're doing and also be... whatever: Scandinavian, suisexual, outside the box... Look, if you have to ask, maybe you're thinking about it wrong. There's a sign up in a coffee shop in Gowanus announcing that it's x,y,z,a,b,c, and other-friendly. A lot of us remember when we could buy a cup of coffee without knowing, wondering, or someone telling us what ethnicity they are, who they sleep with, or every other personal detail. We're not saying "Don't ask, don't tell." We're saying that no one here feels compelled to answer anyone else as to where they were born, who they voted for in 2016, or who they schtup, so how are those things a constraint on participation? Someone here secretly likes 10,000 piece puzzles. He's a psychopath, obviously, but it's not a reason he can't be here. On the other hand, if you launch into the forum announcing a lot of stuff about yourself and demanding that it be accepted and everyone sign a note saying they agree, then you're being an asshole. If you have to make whatever that thing is your CORE identity, then maybe we aren't a fit for you. The problem with EVERYTHING being identity is every idea or preference or biographical detail becomes an existential battle, and that makes room for no one else who is unlike ourselves. That's intolerance that demands everyone else be tolerant. You first, and if that works for you, then welcome.