Deep down, we have a sense of manhood.

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When a man does a thing that's good, consistently, that he learned from his fathers, who learned it from his father, and so on; when that thing is something men discuss and celebrate; when it's reinforced by stories we tell of especially good examples; when we intentionally choose it as a code for ourselves and deliberately instill it in our children or seek friends who exemplify it, that thing is manhood. It's manhood not 'as opposed to womanhood' but manhood as opposed to something less than being a man.

For most of us, traditionally, if we sat down, bought another man a beer, and talked about what those things are, we'd learn quickly (if we didn't know already) that we share many of them. We weren't surprised when other men thought highly of honesty, duty, self-reliance, exchanging value for value, and commitment to one’s word.

This was once so common that we expected it in other men and were surprised and bewildered if there was NO shared sense of manhood. In fact, we relied on it as the basis for a community of peers, of aspiration, and our sense of self among potential equals. The point of Manhearted™ is to reignite that conversation.

Asher Black

Asher is a fabulist, maximist, humorist, and raconteur. By day, he works with companies to find and tell their story effectively. By night, he is a human bonfire.

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6 thoughts on “Deep down, we have a sense of manhood.”

  1. Bogan Alejandrin

    There is no such thing as a man’s man or a woman’s woman. We’re all just men and women.
    We are already men. We don’t have to strive to be “men” or any other gender. By striving for a gender identity, we are denying the fact that we are already men. There’s no need to defend manhood. Manhood is not under assault, and it’s unassailable. It doesn’t have to be defended, and it should not be defended.

    1. Nikolaus Reginald

      Being a man means being a good man. It means being honest, taking care of your family, and respecting others. It’s about following the law and paying your taxes. It’s about working hard for the things you want in life.
      When it comes to being a man, it’s not about gender, it’s about character. Standing up for those weaker than yourself—whether that be your wife and kids or the elderly—is what makes you a man. I think manhood is the ability to embrace discomfort and to be able to handle it. That’s something that I’ve been taught by my father, and that’s something that I’m trying to teach my son.

      1. Bogan Alejandrin

        Yeah, being a man isn’t about proving your dominance or machismo. It’s not about making yourself feel superior to other people. Being a man is hard work. It’s about working hard and doing the right thing, no matter what it is. The most important component of being a man is taking care of those around you. This means standing up for your fellow man. It means doing the right thing when no one else would. “The fact is that manhood has often been equated with resilience in the face of discomfort.

  2. The adage “manhood is not defined by anything, but rather is opposed to everything” is a poor choice of words.
    I think what is most important when it comes to manhood is that we don’t strive to be men. The point of life isn’t to become a man, it’s to realize we already are men. You are not under any assault. You are alive in the greatest moment of human history. It is not hyperbole to say that we are living in an age that will be looked upon favorably by our grandchildren and their grandchildren.

    1. Manhood is not about being stoic. It’s about hard work, respect for others, following the law, and treating people with kindness.
      This is the most important lesson I’ve learned from being a father. Manhood is not a feeling, it’s a state of being. Manhood is not about being able to lift a lot of weight or run fast. It’s about intelligence, integrity, and courage.

  3. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word manhood means “the state of being a man; especially : the qualities or attributes that make a man a man”. I hope you’re taking notes.
    Many men on Twitter, etc. have no idea what it means to be a man. Men don’t cry, they don’t wear dresses, and they don’t care about what girls think. Men are stoic and strong. It’s crazy that I have to say this in 2017, but manhood is not under assault. Manhood is doing just fine. In fact, it’s thriving. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, men represent 92% of workplace deaths.

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